In My Daddy Era: Confessions from a First-Time Father

She Gave Me a Sly Smile and Told Me the Future

Richard Dodds Episode 5

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Before we even knew the gender, my sister came to me in a dream with that familiar, sly smile and said three words: "Take care of her." From that moment, I knew I was a Girl Dad. But being a father to a daughter carries a weight I didn't fully grasp until I started thinking about the "First Love" effect.

In this episode, I’m looking at the responsibility of being my daughter's daily example. Through a conversation with a friend and my own reflections, I’m realizing that the way I love my wife and the way I treat my daughter will shape the standard she sets for every man who enters her life.

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SPEAKER_01

I had a dream I was talking to my big sister. I can't remember the conversation, but at the end, she gave me a sly smile, like she always used to, when she was ready to deliver a smart remark. Then she said, take care of her. From that moment on, I knew I was having a girl. Hi, I'm Rick, and this is in my daddy error confessions from a first-time father that's incredibly happy to be a girl dad. When people found out my wife was pregnant, I think everyone assumed I was hoping for a boy. Whenever they asked, I always responded with a, I just want a healthy baby. I think deep down, I always knew I wanted a girl first. My daughter was daddy's little princess even before she was born. Being a dad in general is a huge responsibility, but being the father of a girl is a much heavier weight. That's something that I realized the more my wife's belly grew.

SPEAKER_00

I was recording with a friend about the preferences of people we date, and she told me The men I was attracted to or the men I chose to be in romantic connections with, they were always dark skins, and then the other part was just, you know, me seeing dark skin as the first love of my life with my dad. So that was, you know, connected there too.

SPEAKER_01

Hearing that from her helped me further understand that the qualities I have for better or worse can end up at least in part shaping the kind of partners my daughter seeks out in the future. Along with my wife, I want to make sure we model what a healthy partnership looks like, because we will be her daily examples of what couples can look like and what they can be, and what to expect, how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man. As a girl dad, it's my responsibility to model what a loving man should look like. First, through the way I treat and love her mother, and second by the way I love and care for her. The world is not always kind to women, especially minority women. I have a responsibility to help prepare my daughter to face an unfair world and also fight to help make the world a better place for her to live in. I think one of the more important things I can do is to show my daughter how much she's worth. If I show her how much she's worth and how valuable she is, she'll never accept anything less. That's my hope. To my baby girl, you were loved even before you were born. Life gives us all our shares of ups and downs, but no matter what, remember you're special, and no matter how old you are, you'll always be my baby. Daddy's little girl forever. Rest of your life, you're just gonna have to deal with it. I don't care if you 50 listening to this. As I continue my journey and my daddy era, I'm still learning, still growing, and still showing up. Because the moment I get a down pat, that's when everything changes. Until next time.